Sunday, November 3, 2013

Flames From The Past Extinguished

You know, ex-boyfriends are like boomerangs... you let them go, they vanish into the distance, you think they are gone, but right when you turn the other way and when you least expect them- that's when they come back to try and hit you in the back of the head.
...
 
Ex Message nº 1:
You did not tell me you were fucking other guys while we were together.
 
Charming... also I would say I wasn't, but I've long learned that you can’t prove a negative, meaning no one is ever able to prove they "didn't" do something... so yeah... oh, and I don't really care, but that's kind of a really abrupt (not to mention stupid) accusation to make, so you mind telling me why you think that? Just you know, for the hell of it.
 
... This is where he sent me the typical message explaining and not very clearly, the all “heard from a friend, who told a friend of another friend that guy X said so.”
Followed by this:
Anyway... Clean your house. Whether he is lying or not does not matter. I came here to warn you, not give you shit. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I hope you are well and I miss you. Please take care.
And again:
"I don't give a shit about him. I was warning you.
If it's not true I have no reason to doubt you now that I have spoken to you.
I know I did not do things very well. I'm sorry. I just could not be there even though I really wanted to. It was just not the right moment in my life."
 
 
As for cleaning my house... I already did.
That is why you aren’t there anymore.
About the rest... Did I at any point in the past message made any mention whatsoever of you not having time to spend with me? No. I did not. And while we were dating I didn’t either. What I did do, was in the night you broke up with me say that I would prefer if when you actually were with me you would refrain from being so constantly on your mobile that you weren’t even listening to what I was saying.
Btw did it ever occur to you that I too might have problems going on? That I wanted to tell you about? Because you know you were my bf and all? No it did not, did it? Because your problems and your life are way more important.
Free info: Everyone has problems, doubts, stuff that isn’t what they want it to be in their lives. We deal with it. I don’t burden you with my problems, but I honestly didn’t even mind you telling me yours, what I DO mind is you using them as excuses.
The world doesn’t owe you shit. I owe you even less.
And as always hearsay proves to be a really reliable source but this is what really cracks me up: “If it's not true I have no reason to doubt you now that I have spoken to you.
 
Newsflash: You had no reason to doubt me even before you spoke with me.
...Did I ever give you reason? Was I not there for you every single time you needed or wanted me? Even on those times in which it was really inconvenient or bad for me?
You know the answer to those questions better than I do, and you also know something else, which is that people, who are fast to think they were cheated on, normally have glass roofs. Meaning they would cheat, so should I ask if there is something you want to tell me?
The sage continues:
I never said you owed me anything. If you pay attention to my words you would notice that I am the one who owes you something.  I wasn't there. I know you had shit going on with your job and other stuff and I just wasn't there. I'm sorry. And no, no glass roof. I just have a long history of being cheated on.  I did not come here to argue.
You win, if that is what matters to you. I know I fucked up, I know I wasn't there. I’m sorry. Have a goodnight. Be good.
 
Ahahahaha! Oh no, darling.
Believe me, you owe me nothing.
In fact I wish you the very best. Because that is what I have now.
Someone who has yet to tell me they love me, but at least I know that when he says it he will mean it.
Someone who may not have much time and attention to give to me, but who tries. Who really tries, who never makes excuses, because even when he can’t be there for me, he knows he has nothing to apologize for, because he gave it his all.
Someone who just went to a foreign country for more than a week for work, but when I told him I was going out with a male friend to see a flower show, he said have fun and get me something nice. And who laughed and told me I knew just what he liked, when I told him I got him a carnivorous plant.
Someone who I am sure doubts me in the privacy of his own dark thoughts but would never throw those thoughts at me, because he knows not only that I don’t deserve them, but that they are his doubts born from his fears and not from anything I’ve ever done.
Someone who talks to me and argues with when he wants to know something, or when I do or say anything that confuses him.
Someone who makes me wish I had more of myself to give, and never makes me doubt or regret that which I have already given.
Win? No it doesn’t matter at least not in the way you think.
Because I don’t really care about what you did or didn’t do. Or for that matter I don’t even care what you do or don’t, who you slept with or are sleeping with.
Because I don’t care about you. I did, a lot, but I only ever let people prove me wrong once. And you proved me very wrong indeed.
I win, not because I win, but because you lose.
And yes, have a good night, have lots of good nights, I do hope you have all the good nights that you may not deserve but that I wish for you nevertheless.
Goodbye
Closure, also like a boomerang, comes when you least expect it.
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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Sparks!

Hello!!! Its been a while! I still here tough, been kinda busy, with my job, my family, friends, my life, yadda yadda... :P

But here I am posting again so not all is lost...

 Someone told me this yesterday,

"You look beautiful today!"
 
and it started me thinking, first like this:

  You just had to tack that “today” on, didn’t you? You had to isolate this day in time, so as to emphasize the fact that I am not usually at this level of aesthetic appeal. I’ll note this on my calendar as the day I looked good, and celebrate its anniversary every year!

Then like this:

It's insulting 'cause how often do you actually hear a "real" compliment?

The kind that has nothing to do with simple and passing things, and that instead is meant not for the now, but for the always? 

Someday I would like to hear,

Not about how I look: wether it's my hair, my eyes, or my smile that please you;
Not about how my efforts to dress and act -accordingly to your definition of beauty and grace- are appreciated;
Not that my taste in music or literature falls well with yours;

But that my soul reaches your soul, my personality amazes your mind, and my laughter touches your heart.

... That, I'll note down and celebrate, for its rarity and its value, not every year, but eveyday.

... I think...
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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Sex Burns

I really should stop with the uninspired fire related titles...

Either way, SEX.
Yep, I'm gonna write about sex, and newsflash I think I've yet to write about that here.
That's probably because my sex life was until recently as boring as it gets.
Sorry old flames, the sex was great, (at times) but boy did I always kind knew there was something missing for me there.
It's not a you thing, it's a me thing.

I read and write adult fanfiction since I was 13. But I always kept that part of my sexuality quite in the closet so to speak.
I'm young, cute and f***ing adorable, for some reason guys just associate that with nice, gentle, boring sex.
Yes, well, I like it, I just would really like it the other way around as well please!

Well, you know what they say, if you want it, just do it, but it's actually more complicated than that: I'm shy- oh screw you I am! I've issues with sex, I'm very open minded, but I will sooner do everything you want that tell you one single thing I want.
The key is to make me feel really comfortable, as if it was the most normal, ordinary stuff, in which case I will take it as the most normal ordinary stuff! Don't make a big deal out of it and I won't either!

Ok, so this is really a rant on how freaking awesome the guy I'm sleeping with is.
No seriouslly, awesome.
Like, if I didn't like him as a person (and I do a lot!) I'd still like to keep him as a fuck buddy.
And I don't do fuck buddies- so yeah, that awesome.

So, if I suddendly had to choose only one person to have sex with for the rest of my life, and I could choose from all the people I slept with + all the people I've yet to sleep with, I would, without thinking, say: "Him, please!"

He's just so f***ing confident, you know?
Like that quote from "Gone with the Wind", the one Rhett says to Scarlett:
"You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

Well, he knows how...
And I knew it from the moment he first kissed me, now those were butterflies!
I don't know if it's just a me thing, if he just pushes my buttons right or whatever, but everything just works like a bloody charm.
(I hope it's a me thing, but I very honestly doubt it, I'm certain he sucked in bed at some point, everyone does, but I'm also quite certain he's universally good at sex, now.
Go figure, some guys just have it all: Cool good-looks, a kick ass atitude, coupled with brilliant wits and good taste in art, music and literature... + sex god, yep life sucks for some people, not for me tough, I'm doing that guy! )

Wow, this entire post makes me sound like a damn sex maniac, which is so not true!
 I would totally date him, for his charming personality....
(yep, he has a charming personality, he's also funny and he get's my jokes, which is not easy and makes him be double funny for me)

Yes the sex rules, but the fact that this is a person I can talk to afterwards not only makes it more awesome, but it kinda gives it more value:
--Yes we're having great sex, and it will only improve as we get to know each other better and become more confortable with experimenting and communicating, etc...

But in the end of the day, I wanna spend time with you, talking about literature, art, music, movies and series, culture, life in general, our life in particular...
 Just eating whatever and watching Studio Ghibli movies...
I wanna know what you think, what makes you tick, not because we are dating, but because it interestets me, you interest me.
I wanna dream your dreams and help make them all come true.
Sure if you break my heart I will kill you, but until then I'll belive in you with such streght and conviction, that anything you want will happen if I can make it happen.

Take good care of me and I'll give you everything you could possible want, I'll be everything you need. Or try to, which is all I can do.

Do I love you?
No.

--But I could.
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Saturday, May 18, 2013

This Woman Is On Fire

So... Ignore the title reference to the stupid song.
Ok, now that we have cleared that, let us carry on...

Have you ever heard the expression:
"No raindrop feels responsible for the flood."
No? Well, now you have.
And what about this expression:
"...you're not a pawn, you're a piece of dust slowly settling on a pawn in a game in which no player has moved in a thousand years."
No? Well, you probably haven't 'cause I just invented that one, but the point is,
Some days seem to exist just to prove to you how insignificant you truly are.
 
Today was one of those days.
 
You know how when you're young you come up with a set of rules, personal rules and you say to yourself: "I will always live by this maxims."
Yes, well, you will not.
Prepare Yourself!
You will,
Lie
Steal
Envy
Cheat
Hurt
Kill
 (... ok that last one was probably an exageration...)
 What I mean is that you don't know the future and every new day is a test to your convictions, or perhaps more correctly to your preconceived notions of right and wrong.
 Ever read "Les Miserables" ?
 Yes, well I have, and you should too...
In fact, why don't you go read it right now?
.... go on, it's fine!
I'll wait...
 
Done?
Good.
 
Let's go on... where was I?
Oh! that's right, why life is a bitch...
 
One days it tells you all your dreams are possible, the ridiculous list you made of your perfect man is not only reasonable, but it exists, those childhood wishes were simply guidelines, but hey! now they aren't! they are for real,and life has somehow manage to improve on them, it or in this case he can be even better.
Perfect really.
 
Then the next day, life asks you, to completely redefine your notion of self, by throwing into the trash bin, all your preconceived maxims.
 Maxims like that old philosophical maxim, that goes something like this:
"The way you pose a question determines the answer."
 The problem with the question I am posing myself right now, is that it's a yes/no, right/wrong, all/nothing proposition.
I'm doomed to disappointment no matter how I cut it -- for in the end, I apparently still have a child's view of love and relationships,
-- solitude is preferable to bad relationships 'cause bad relationships must be misery and all the good relationships will immediatly be bliss and bliss alone.
Is this really how life works, not just with romance, but with anything?
At some point the mature person must recognize the difference between fantasy and reality, of how your idea of the way things should be only sometimes intersect with the way things really are.
Know that there are no real constants in life:
Solitude may be both invigorating and lonesome,
A relationship can be exceptional and wanting in equal turns,
Your family/friends can embolden you and let you down the next day.
Life is throwing this at me as a way of suggesting I rethink things as having more than one answer, and allow myself
the very real,
very human,
often unpoetic
(or fit for being turned into maxims )
stuff of life, that lies in the middle of misery and ecstasy.  The stuff in between. Neither white nor black, all the nasty and beautiful grey bits of life.
Whatever they may be.
Either way, just live the best life you can, and yadda yadda...
 
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Friday, May 17, 2013

12th of May, 2013

It is a bad thing for a writer (or someone who aspires to be one, such as me) when words fail them.
Words fail me today.
Perhaps because of this, I will simply borrow someone else's words.

These words, for you, today, 12th of May, 2013.

"Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.
You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.
 Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.
The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.  
 You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.
Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth. 
 How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
  I want
to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees."

 Poem #14 from 20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair.
By Pablo Neruda

(Translated to english by W. S. Merwin)
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Monday, April 8, 2013

Boy or Girl - Find Out Where Your Flaming Personality Leans To!

YOUR BOY SIDE:
you love hoodies
You love jeans
dogs are better then cats
it’s hilarious when people get hurt
you've played with/against boys on a team
shopping is torture s
ad movies suck
you own/owned an XBOX
you own/owned a Wii
you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
you own/owned a DS PS2 or Sega
you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
you watch sports on TV
gory movies are cool
you go to your dad for advice
you own like a trillion baseball hats
you used to/do collect football collector cards
baggy sweatpants are cool to wear all the way
its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
sports are fun you talk with food in your mouth
you sleep at night with your socks on sometimes
TOTAL= 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE
you love to shop
you wear eyeliner
you wear the color pink
you go to your mom for advice
you considered cheerleading a sport you hate wearing the color black
you like going to town
you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
you like wearing jewelery
you cried watching The Notebook
you have worn dangly earings
shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
you don't like the movie Star Wars
you are/were in gymnastics you smile a lot more than you should
you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
sometimes you care about what you look like you like wearing dresses
you like wearing body spray you wear flip flops
you used to play with dolls as a kid you have put makeup on others
you like being the star of almost everything
you love shoe shopping
pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 9

hmm... thirteen against nine. I should have foreseen that...
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Thursday, April 4, 2013

"I shouldn't have to explain myself...YOU should be the one telling ME why you believed what you heard"

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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Firing Up The 1º Post of CampNaNoWrimo

I have always struggled with vulnerability.
I like being strong; I’ve always had to be strong, and I have associated vulnerability with weakness for as long as I can remember. Of course in everyday life, it would be difficult for people to know this. I am seen as someone who is quite open and outgoing, at least to the extent that my demeanor is not mistaken for being a cold, unapproachable bitch.
I think.
Perhaps it’s through writing, perhaps it’s through getting older, but ultimately I’ve realized that I’m a really hard person to get to know. And very few people know even the half of it. I’m guarded and I don’t break easily; no matter how close I am to people, I know that most of them are still kept at a distance that is comfortable for me, a distance that won’t leave me too exposed. Or in fact exposed at all. I do not like to be vulnerable. But in true I do not like to be strong either. I'm like a coin- there's more than one side to me, not black and white, not one-dimensional,
I am in 3D.
And there is no area in my life where this is more true than in my love life. Yes, I play it off as being shy, and I am. And I play it off as being disinterested in the people who courageously approach me, and maybe that is true too. But when it’s all said and done, I am afraid of being vulnerable with people in that way. Of being seen as vulnerable by others. I like to feel in control of situations, I like to feel that I am always secure and my insecurities often get in the way of that. When you’re vulnerable, your heart and your mind are wide open, you put your trust in others by giving them the most precious thing you have – your heart. When you’re vulnerable you leave yourself open to hurt, pain and disapointment. So I guess somewhere along the way, whether I realized it or not, I made the decision that vulnerability was not for me. I told myself that to be vulnerable would mean to give up my strength and I did not want to give it up I couldn't give it up. My construction of strength pratically defined me. But do you know what happens when you tell yourself that strength opposes vulnerability? That you must choose between one or the other? I can tell you: Not a whole not. At least not when it comes to love. Who wants to be with someone that doesn’t think they need anyone? In my attempt to be strong, beyond my own streght, I have ultimately been motivated by fear. I have lived in the fear of rejection and the fear of failing. And I have told myself that it’s meant to be this way. But the truth is, I don’t want to be alone. I know I’ll be fine and life will go on and other people do just fine like that, but I don’t want to choose that path if I don’t have to. Lately I’ve been seeing the error in my ways. I thought that vulnerability was the weaker position when it comes to love. But I’m realizing that the irony of vulnerability in love and in the pursuit of love is that you actually take the stronger position. When you put your heart on the line, when you give it to somebody and you tell them that it’s theirs to keep or break, when you expose who you are and all you are to the world– that is one of the truest and greatest strengths that there is. Being vulnerable, and putting myself out there won’t be easy, it might be one of the hardest things that I’m ever going to attempt. And it might go horribly wrong – I might get broken or damaged like so many others before me. Loving anything and anyone ultimately comes with hurt and my attempt to not let people get close enough to hurt me has left me with a different kind of pain, a different kind of weakness – the weakness of regret and "what ifs". I think that, if I am to be truly strong, if any of us are, we have to be willing to expose ourselves and put ourselves through the greatest risk of all – which is love.
For Love is the law. Love under Will.
Quote by Aleister Crowley
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Around the Camp NaNoWrimo Fire

Hi there! Long time no see! So, this time I'm doing CampNaNoWrimo in April... And I'm cheating, well not cheating per se, but I'm not writing a novel, instead I'll be trying to write weekly posts on this website! That's my goal. Let's see how it goes. Wish me the Courage of a Gryffindor, the Persistence of a Ravenclaw, the Humility of a Hufflepuff and the Ambition of a Slytherin. Sara <3 http://www.campnanowrimo.org/campers/scalvim
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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Life Inspirational Flames + some Yoda and Turtles Awesomness

I like turtles... I wanna live my life just like a turtle... They're like, so chill, so relaxed about everything. They don't hurt anyone. They don't give a shit about what others think of them. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle." Plus they can kill Super Mario! September 25, 2012 Sure, on retrospective 2012 sucked. The economy sucked. The housing market was lousy. And jobs became tougher to find. You thought 2012 was your year to break out on your own. Create your own life – physical,emotinal, psycological and financial freedom. But then AnimeSeason had a bunch of specials, you had to find out what happened on the latest anime(and blog about it), and, what is that?… There's a new Sherlock TV series? Frankly, you blew the year with distractions. It is easy to do…I mean…distractions are so…well… distracting. It is so much easier to chat about the latest Laurell K. Hamilton novel and her sexy french vampires, or how Starbucks is adding stuff to their coffee to make people want to buy an accompanying muffin. Hey, those are much better topics, I myself freely admit it, reality sucks! But that doesn't mean we can live on Neverland forever. Do you dare to take a peek through the looking glass? Then read on… Here's how you can sail trough this crisis infested waters, avoid major depression icebergs, and live the life of a pirate! Wake Up! – Get up early in the morning, every morning, even if you don't have anything to do, you won't accomplish anything by spending your life asleep in your bed. There are plenty of things to do everyday but, guess what, they all take work. Plan on learning about something. I mean really doing something, take bellydancing lesssons, learn a foreing language or two, get a cooking and pastery degree. But do it passionatly, either do something or don’t do something, don't go half hearted into it, don't live your life that way. "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try."- Yoda. Depression Sucks – Stop overthinking it. Cease to be so afraid of life, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."- Yoda really had it all figured out, don't get sucked into the dark side, live your life free of fear and happy in the light. Stop doing “serious work” and start enjoying what you do for a living. It is easy to get a job. There are lots of jobs available out there even in the middle of this crisis, there's lots of stuff that, at the end of the day,get you the money you need to live. But there's also lots of jobs that in the end of the week didn’t earn you a dime but feels like you did something. Before accepting any job, ask yourself, “How much is my time and self respect worth? is it worth this ammout of money?” If you can’t answer a big “yes,” in the short term… move on to something that will. Don't think long term, life is short you could be dead tomorrow, and then what good would the money and the hard work do you? Change is the key! Nowadays with the job unemployment rate, you get pretty much the same lousy ammount of money regardless of where you work, what you do or for how long you have been doing it. Take advantage of that and stop making up a million excuses “why” you couldn’t do something. Take this time to start your own business, take risks, strive for more and better, by taking chances and trying out for jobs you wouldn't normally do, you might find you like or even have some talent for some really unexpected stuff. "If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are ... a different game you should play"- Yoda. Live on the today! Don't spend your life mourning your past fortune. Set new dreams for yourself. Quit saying one day you'll be happy when you have this and that, or you never will. When will you get this or that? Set a deadline (an actual date and time) and tell friends to kick you in the ass if you don’t meet it. Get yourself back on track to your goals and dreams. Quit Bitching You Big Baby– The world owes you nothing. Life Sucks… get a helmet. Some people spend more time making excuses than it would have taken to use that same amount of time to just do the damn thing. Just do it already or quit whining about it. Whihning and complaining won't get you anywhere. "In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are"- Yoda once again knew it, and tells you that in the middle of hard times one must hold on to one's own streght and pride with all one's got. Don't let yourself be dragged down by the general self-pity party, we seem to be having, live your life with pride and streght! Stop Twittering, Facebooking, and playing Farmville. – That huge sucking sound in the background when you fire up Facebook is the sound of your life going down the drain. You are not a real farmer and you are not “keeping in touch with your friends” – you are maintaining more than one narcissistic website all about you. If you wanna write about you, write a blog, or a journal. Don’t make excuses that social media is anything other than that. Want to talk to a friend? Pick up the frigging phone and call them – it probably automatically forwards to their Facebook account anyway. I hope you have a great rest of 2012 and a bloody awesome 2013. If you don’t, it is probably your own fault.
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To Have Your Dreams Fall in Flames and Yet Rise Above The Ashes To Fly Stronger and Higher Than Before

My life is not hard, it never was. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m just one of many girls, post-university struggling to find paid employment and make ends meet. Actually, it is quite a lot like everyone else’s situations :) only I’ll, very soon, have to stop sponging off my parents or have delusions about being someone great that will “go down in history” or anything like that. I did study literature at university, I had dreams and I still do. I don’t expect to be a writer right away. Neither would I want to. But I always wanted to do something within the industry, and thought (perhaps naively?) that studying my passion would allow me to work with it in some way. Editing, Book PR, translations, freelance writing for newspapers and magazines, that kind of thing. People aren’t lying when they say the job market’s hard. I know other people think that graduates should stop moaning about being unemployed because LOTS of people are unemployed, but it really is an indescribably demoralising experience to come to the end of those 3/4 glorious years, in which you have worked hard, despite what some people think (ok, I could have worked harder). But I achieved good things, and was ready, am ready, to knuckle down and really make myself invaluable to an employer. Thankfully I’d worked part-time before, and my university is still not over, so I still have time to search and my mom will keep me from starving and living under a bridge, at least until graduation. At first I tought I ought to hold out for that big break, but as time passed I started looking for part-time work. Any part-time work. I guess I got desperate, the end of the semester is fast approaching and I just don’t wanna be a burden to my parents. People tell me I need to lower my standards, but I’ve applied for so many things: Jobs in hotels, airports and turism, cleaning jobs, dogsbody stuff, bar and restauration work, comertial, even those awful sales jobs where you stand on the street annoying people. Part-time work is my compromise: “Yes, I will go into the job market, I will work every single day in something that I do not love, will probably never enjoy and has absolutely nothing to do with the field I’ve studied all those years for. And not only will I be underpaid to do it, but also I’ll apparently have to practically beg for it.” But I’ll not do it full time. I’ll not accept that as the interity of my life. I’ll keep my dreams alive. I’ll not accept the status quo. It’s demeaning. Like adding insult to injury. I’m a person, I maybe a young person, and I’m not saying I’m entitled to more than anyone else, but I certainly should not have to settle for less than I deserve. I’m not asking for favors, and I’d really appreciate it, if people stopped treating me like I am. I’m just asking for an opportunity to prove that I can do this. Work. Prove myself. If I suck, for heavens sake- Fire me! But Gods, please give me an opportunity to screw up first, before automaticly assuming I will. The good news is, I’ve the right “fresh-out-from-university-looking-for-a-job” profile: I’m good looking, and friendly, active, easy-going, responsible, fast-thinking, hard working... I’m very hireable, even without much work experience. But I was born like that, there’s nothing to be proud of in that. I’m using all my skills because I have to, because starting in a few weeks, I’ll be all alone. By myself. And still waiting for my big opportunity, my dream job. I’ll keep signing up for it; I don’t know if they’ll be able to employ me, they say it’s the economy. Perhaps it is, but I think it’s the mentality, this loser mentality, this "I’ll even work for free if you just give me an internship with your company, because my mom and dad pay my bills, and I’ve to tell them I’m doing something with my life, or else". I refuse to do that, I refuse to accept a reality in which I busted my ass for others during 3/4 years, in which I studied and I (well, my parents did but you get the point) paid for a higher education, to do what? To work ridiculous hous, full weeks, with no guaranties, no security, no carrer opportunities or goals, for pratically no pay! Am I supposed to be okay with that? I’m sorry NO! I’ll say no, and I’ll NOT be sorry about that. Everytime people offer me an internship or an underpaid job, I’ll say no, and scream it if I have to. Scream it with all my power, with all my will... above that little voice in my head, that sounds suspiciously like my mom’s, and that says I must get a job. I will refuse to be a willing slave. I’ll say: “I’d rather starve”. For, it’s true that you cannot eat dignity, but you can die in your mind, in your heart and in your self-respect with plenty of food in your stomach. I’ll never willingly accept that as my fate, I deserve better, Gods I know I do. I don’t know if this is the way, but I’m positive that it’s a step in the right direction. I just wish everyone would do the same: Put their foot down for what they believe in! If we all said no, they’d not do it! The mentality would change, the productivity would rise (because people would actually want to do the jobs), and I’ll be dammed if the economy wouldn’t rise with it! I don’t really like to say that it’s my way or no way, but with my life, it kind of is. If nothing else, than to fail spectacularly will be a liberating experience. Students, graduates, friends... Unite! Fight for what you believe, and never, ever give up! Sara ♥
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Thursday, June 21, 2012

My Life Is On Fire!!!

So... After have an (ex)boyfriend break up with me for the first time, having trouble getting fininished with University this year for the first time, and getting a real "every-day-of-the-week" job (even if its not a full-time) also for the first time. I've finally decided to move out! Yep! Going far away from my mom's house and fortunatly (or unfortunatly, we'll see) finally getting out from under her tiranical and often completly ridiculous financial reign. Here's how this turn of events began: My mom bought a farm. Well, I guess we can say we bought it together, then again I've been living of her for the last 21 years so I suppose I can help a little. The thing is, I know we got the money from selling out our town house, but really I've no idea how she managed it! In fact I've no bloody idea how she managed to live for the past 20 years, while being a single parent, twice divorced, with 4 kids! Financially it seems to me nothing short of a miracle. And oddly enough we all turned out fine so far. Oh! and we most certanly never lacked for anything: Not too much,nor too little. That appear to be my mom's motto. Still, she buys everything she wants, (and most things we want for that matter) and still she manages not to have debt and meet every monthly bill. The truth is, My mom figured out how to save because she had to. And I assume her parents also knew how to save. I grew up with parents (both) who knew how to budget and save but considered finances very private. I really wish, at least she, had been more open to discussing how she managed her money because I feel like while she explained the birds and bees to me, she never covered the financial side at all. I'm pretty sure I would have figured out sex, but the way she budgets and allocates her savings still eludes me. Oh, well! I''l learn on the way, and if I end up eating canned food and boxed cereal for weeks, well, at least I never had problems with my bowels before! Besides there's a first time for everything. I'm prepared, at least emotionally if not mentally: - I've been on Erasmus, I've been apart from my family, easily. (I missed my cat a lot though...) - I want my own space, my own schedules and budgets. And most important of all, I really think I CAN DO IT. I WANT to live by MYSELF, to be independent, to stop being a burden to my parents or to anyone for that matter. When I was very young, all I wanted was to get married and have kids. I had no career aspirations and for that matter I still haven't got many. I want a job, and I've plenty of plans for travelling and for stuff I want to do before I die, like writing a book and learning bellydancing, but still no big "I want to be a ballerina or a doctor" dreams. Some of my childhood dreams still remain unchanged: I want to get married and have kids (on that order if possible) and with time I've realised that this dreams would work for me, that even with my child-mentality I made appropriate life choices for myself. But some things, like the not having a job, being a stay-at-home mom and housewife, well, those are really bad ideas. Not because I couldn't do it, and believe me not everyone can stay at home and be supported financially by their spouse. I probably could live spoonging out of some guy. Probably. And he wouldn't be getting the rough part of the deal either! I'm really a big fan of the 50's housewife thing, and I'm bloody awesome with kids, (that with all the practice and all) also great in bed, love sex and probably always will. Nops, I'm not bragging, just stating facts. I don't have the best personality and Gods know I've got plenty of flaws, but when it comes to love and my dream life, you bet I know what I want and how to go get it. Oddly enough I simply don't want it yet. And when I say yet, what I mean is right now, it will happen, rest assured, but first there's a couple of things I have to work on. First being the independence part, this will be a problem with my future dream-life. I am perfectly aware of this, so I've decided to take a while, to put my needs and wants first in my life, to make all my choices ALONE. For the very first time, without having to justify anything to anyone but myself. A period in time for me, so that when my dream-life happens I'll take some things from this life -alone- and others from my previous life -with my mom and brothers- and be much happier. The job part was also a lot easier to fix than I had anticipated. A part-time job! I can live with under 600 euros per month, easily and still saving. Well perhaps not easily, but with a budget and some self-control (thank the Gods for the Kindle) I should do fine and still manage to save from 50 to 100 euros every month. Money that will go to my travelling/vacation plans! Ok, so let's review my budget! (per month) - 210 euros housing expences (that includes utilities such as light, gas and internet) - 35 euros for transportation (that's my subway pass!) - 100 euros on alimentation (that's around 25 euros per week, a month being around 4 weeks) So the big total is: 345 euros! let's had the extra 5 euros for any excesses and catchim! 350 euros! That's about how much I need every month! Amazingly enough, and I swear I did not plan this! that's exactly how much I make at my D2D selling telecomunications part-time job! That's my 14h-22h job. We only really work from 16h-20h though, that's the time frame in which people open their doors. It's really great fun, always new places and new people, but I guess the best part is the extra money. I get extra 10 euros for each point I make (1 point per sale) and I normally get 3 points everytime (TV, net and phone) so thats 30 euros everytime I make 1 contract! I have to make about 5/6 per month. So that's a grand total of + 180 euros! just for saving! (oh, and if I make more than 5/6 my points start being worth 15 euros each! but lets not be greedy... :P) And to this I had my babysitting money! and that's the money for the extra expenses! I'm realistic, I spend money in often useless thing, such as clothes (I already have more than I'll ever remember to wear), make-up (which I never wear either way) and books (with I can get for free online, bless thy kindle !), plus other stuff such as going out with friends, cinema movies and restaurant/snack-bar foods. So that's the babysitting money right there. If I make more I can spend more, and if I make less well, that's ok too! My budget 101! Crossing my fingers and hoping everything will turn out fine! Wish me luck and happiness 'cause I'm wishing right back at you pall!
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Thursday, May 17, 2012

3 am fires of love

Thoughts on the nature of love... What is love, and how can we tell, when it begins or where it ends? Do we know love if we see it? When we feel it? I daresay that you will not know love when it is offered to you, so intent will you be to experience Le Grand Amour-- the only sort of love fitting for the hero, for the main character of your own story. Drama and romance. And then, when you realise that the great passion that comes along with your drama is short lived, you will move on searching for the next happily ever after. You will never stay still enough to recognise true love when it’s presented. For it takes patience to detect subtlety. And love is nothing if not subtle. For love... love is telling a man he’s not pretty while stroking his face with a reverent touch. But there are many pretty men and women in the world; you of course dated enough of those to know. Yes, there certainly are pretty people, aren’t there? Pretty and dull. That is the way of things, the great divide for people. Or so I had believed, until the night I met you. You see, you have more than pretty looks, though you have those too. Like the Beast in the old fairytale, there is to you, more than meets the eye. Some sort of darkness, but not as in the fairytale, redeemed in the end, oh no, for I would not wish it so. For those kind of sweet fairytale endings are of a taste I have never cared to acquire. I much prefer the tangy flavour of truth. For we are children yes, but children of the world, and lies do not become us. Indeed I could not wish for you to be anything less than what you are. I would not dare to, for fear that if I did, and if you did, then perhaps you too would become pretty dull to me. Oh! Do keep your darkness, your hidden sides and shades. Leave to the poets, the children, the dreamers, and the romantics; the honeyed dispositions, the pretty profiles, the blond princes and virtuous knights in white horses, the serendipitous happily ever afters. For shadows, as any artist will tell you, create depth. --After 3 am, you should be in bed, I know I should. I should most certainly not be writing about anything at all. Do forgive me for any lack in grammar or coherence, they are all entirely and most sincerily my fault.--
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Fandom Flames!

Fandom is focus. Fandom is obsession. Fandom is insatiable consumption. Fandom is sitting for hours in front of a TV screen a movie screen a computer screen with a comic book a novel on your lap. Fandom is eyestrain and carpal tunnel syndrome and not enough exercise and staying up way, way past your bedtime. Fandom is people you don’t tell your mother you’re meeting. Fandom is people in the closet, people out and proud, people in costumes, people in T-shirts with slogans only fifty others would understand. Fandom is a loud dinner conversation scaring the waiter and every table nearby. Fandom is you in Germany and me in Portugal and him in the US and her in Japan. Fandom is a sofa-bed in Denmark, a roadtrip to London, a friend behind a face in Glasgow. Fandom talks past timezones and accents and backgrounds. Fandom is conversation. Communication. Contact. Fandom is drama. Fandom is melodrama. Fandom is high school. Fandom is Snacky’s law and Godwin’s law and Murphy’s law. Fandom is smarter than you. Fandom is stupider than you. Fandom is five arguments over and over and over again. Fandom is the first time you’ve ever had them. Fandom is female. Fandom is male. Fandom lets female play at being male. Fandom bends gender, straight, gay, prude, promiscuous. Fandom is fantasy. Fandom doesn’t care about norms or taboos or boundaries. Fandom cares too much about norms and taboos and boundaries. Fandom is not real life. Fandom is closer than real life. Fandom knows what you’re really like in the bedroom. Fandom is how you would never, could never be in the bedroom. Fandom is shipping, never shipping, het, slash, gen, none of the above, more than the above. Fandom is love for characters you didn’t create. Fandom is recreating the characters you didn’t create. Fandom is appropriation, subversion, dissention. Fandom is adoration, extrapolation, imitation. Fandom is dissection, criticism, interpretation. Fandom is changing, experimenting, attempting. Fandom is Post-modernism at its best and at its worst. Fandom is creating. Fandom is drawing, painting, vidding: nine seasons in four minutes of love. Fandom is words, language, authoring. Fandom is essays, stories, betas, parodies, filks, zines, usenet posts, blog posts, message board posts, emails, chats, petitions, wank, concrit, feedback, recs. Fandom is writing for the first time since you were twelve. Fandom is finally calling yourself a writer. Fandom is signal and response. Fandom is a stranger moving you to tears, anger, laughter. Fandom is you moving a stranger to speak. Fandom is distraction. Fandom is endangering your job, your grades, your relationships, your bank account. Fandom gets no work done. Fandom is too much work. Fandom was/is just a phase. Fandom could never be just a phase. Fandom is where you found a friend, a sister, a kindred spirit. Fandom is where you found a talent, a love, a reason. Fandom is where you found yourself. Fandom is life.
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To my boyfriend! My vey own Light!

“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.” — Jonathan Safran Foer
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Fire or Hire?!

My life is not hard, it never was. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m just one of many girls post-university struggling to find paid employment and make ends meet. Actually, it is quite a lot like everyone else’s situations  only I’ll, very soon, have to stop sponging off my parents or have delusions about being someone great that will “go down in history” or anything like that. I did study literature at university, I had dreams and I still do. I don’t expect to be a writer right away. Neither would I want to. But I always wanted to do something within the industry, and thought (perhaps naively?) that studying my passion would allow me to work with it in some way. Editing, Book PR, translations, freelance writing for newspapers and magazines, that kind of thing. People aren’t lying when they say the job market’s hard. I know other people think that graduates should stop moaning about being unemployed because LOTS of people are unemployed, but it really is an indescribably demoralising experience to come to the end of those 3/4 glorious years, in which you have worked hard, despite what some people think (ok, I could have worked harder). But I achieved good things, and was ready, am ready, to knuckle down and really make myself invaluable to an employer. Thankfully I’d worked part-time before, and my university is still not over, so I still have time to search and my mom will keep me from starving and living under a bridge, at least until graduation. At first I tought I ought to hold out for that big break, but as time passed I started looking for part-time work. Any part-time work. I guess I got desperate, the end of the semester is fast approaching and I just don’t wanna be a burden to my parents. People tell me I need to lower my standards, but I’ve applied for so many things: Jobs in hotelary and turism, cleaning jobs, dogsbody stuff, bar and restauration work, comertial, even those awful sales jobs where you stand on the street annoying people. Part-time work is my compromise: “Yes, I will go into the job market, I will work every single day in something that I do not love, will probably never enjoy and has absolutely nothing to do with the field I’ve studied all those years for. And not only will I be underpaid to do it, but also I’ll apparently have to practically beg for it.” But I’ll not do it full time. I’ll not accept that as the interity of my life. I’ll keep my dreams alive. I’ll not accept the status quo. It’s demeaning. Like adding insult to injury. I’m a person, I maybe a young person, and I’m not saying I’m entitled to more than anyone else, but I certainly should not have to settle for less than I deserve. I’m not asking for favors, and I’d really appreciate it, if people stopped treating me like I am. I’m just asking for an opportunity to prove that I can do this. Work. Prove myself. If I suck, for heavens sake- Fire me! But Gods, please give me an opportunity to screw up first, before automaticly assuming I will. The good news is, I’ve the right “fresh-out-from-university-looking-for-a-job” profile: I’m good looking, and friendly, active, easy-going, responsible, fast-thinking, hard working... I’m very hireable, even without much work experience. But I was born like that, there’s nothing to be proud in that. I’m using all my skills because I have to, because starting in a few weeks, I’ll be all alone. By myself. And still waiting for my big opportunity, my dream job. I’ll keep signing up for it; I don’t know if they’ll be able to employ me, they say it’s the economy. Perhaps it is, but I think it’s the mentality, this loser mentality, this “I’ll even work for free” if you just give me an internship with your company, because my mom and dad pay my bills, and I’ve to tell them I’m doing something with my life, or else. I refuse to do that, I refuse to accept a reality in which I busted my ass for others during 3/4 years, in which I studied and I (well, my parents did but you get the point) paid for a higher education, to do what? To work ridiculous hous, full weeks, with no guaranties, no security, no carrer oppurtunities or goals, for pratically no pay! Am I supposed to be okay with that? I’m sorry NO! I’ll say no, and I’ll NOT be sorry about that, everytime people offer me an internship or an underpaid job, I’ll say no, and scream it if I have to. Scream it with all my power, with all my will... above that little voice in my head, that sounds suspiciously like my mom’s, and that says I must get a job. I will refuse to be a willing slave. I’ll say: “I’d rather starve”.For, it’s true that you cannot eat dignity, but you can die in your mind, in your heart and in your self-respect with plenty of food in your stomach. I’ll never willingly accept that as my fate, I deserve better, Gods I know I do. I don’t know if this is the way, but I’m positive that it’s a step in the right direction. I just wish everyone would do the same: Put their foot down for what they believe in! If we all said no, they’d not do it! The mentality would change, the productivity would rise (because people would actually want to do the jobs), and I’ll be dammed if the economy wouldn’t rise with it! I don’t really like to say that it’s my way or no way, but with my life, it kind of is. If nothing else, than to fail spectacularly will be a liberating experience. Students, graduates, friends... Unite! Fight for what you believe, and never, ever give up! Sara <3
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Friday, May 4, 2012

Watch As I Flame You!

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IN FANFICTION
*A bossy list by Fanfiction Author Raining Ink. Your mileage may differ.*

1. Accidentally write a Mary Sue.
Go now, and Google Mary Sue. Write one if you must. But please, realize that you're doing it; and give us a warning in the fic summary.

2. Infantilize a teenager or adult character.
Dear Hurt/Comfort author, if your sixteen-year-old protagonist is constantly whimpering, clutching a plush toy, looking at people with "vulnerable liquid eyes," sucking his thumb, or otherwise acting like a small child, you are probably tap dancing on your reader's gag reflex. This syndrome plagues Harry Potter fan fic, especially Severitus/Sevitus. It is not cute. It is supremely creepy.

3. Have an explicit sex scene in every chapter.
I know. It's a shocker, right? But a lot of us actually read fan fiction for the plot. I will wade through a whole lot of explicit scenes to get to the nuggets of plot (and almost every fic worth its salt has some plot even if the author didn't realize it), but I don't enjoy it. Please at least let me know in the summary if I'm going to have to skim massively to find the story amidst all of the insert Tab A into Slot B.

3.5 Have an explicit sex scene at ff.net.
That M rating? It's M, not NC-17. They are not equivalent. I feel pretty strongly about this, though I used to barely notice it and I've never bothered to report anyone. If you're going to write smut, write it somewhere else. There are a lot twelve and thirteen year olds digging through this site. I think we've got a responsibility to keep it clean, or at least clearly labeled.

4. Write without a Beta if you suck at English grammar.
Don't feel embarassed. A whole lot of people fail at grammar. Betas are cute and plentiful and so gosh darn helpful that it will make you feel all tingly inside when you get one. If you are really bad, get two Betas. It's good for you. It's good for your story. It's good for your readers. And I can promise that you'll get more reviews if your grammar and spelling are up to snuff.

5. Write a "Group of Characters read the Book in Which They are Featured" Fic.
DO NOT DO IT.
I'm sure I'm hurting some feelings with this, but there is a very good reason not to. I have never, ever, read one of these that wasn't a horendous work of plagiarism. Yes, it's fun and funny to see how Draco Malfoy responds to the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Super. BUT. You can't write this fic without copying massive amounts of the author's original work. I've seen entire chapters of novels retyped. The fact that the "writer" (aka typist) used quotation marks didn't change the fact that I could have read the original author's story without paying for it. This is plagiarism, not fanfiction. It is illegal, unethical, and stupid.

6. Use your story as a political or religious platform.
Put it on your profile page, not in your character's mouth. Harry Potter really doesn't care if you like Sarah Palin or not.
(Quite frankly, none of the rest of us do either.)

7. Write abuse scenes solely to garner sympathy for a lame character.
Abuse is a serious issue. Don't make a mockery of it. If you're going to deal with it, don't just insert it into your story to "juice things up" or to make everyone feel super sorry for your protagonist so that they will understand when he/she starts carrying around a teddy bear at age sixteen and sucking his/her thumb. (See number 2.)

8. Summarize canon.
Seriously? It's fan fiction. We're fans. We don't need you to give us every detail about how Harry Potter grew up with the Dursleys or how Percy Jackson is really a demigod. We got that memo. Write something new.

8.5 Write an AU in which nothing new happens.
Summary says: Harry is really the reincarnation of Merlin, sent to Earth to save it from alien invasion, and Voldemort is really the female leader of the invading force. Rock on. And then, for 100,000 plus words, the characters do the exact same things they did in canon. Voldemort may be pink tentacle monster, but it hasn't changed anything. Not even the dialogue. This baffles me.

9. Write entirely in dialogue.
I'm seeing more and more of this. I know it's easier, and it makes your chapters look longer on paper, but really? Dialogue is great when it's resting on top of good exposition. Otherwise you're trying to build a pyramid from the top down.

10. Be Evil.
This is for everyone and anyone out there who reads or writes fan fic. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be friendly. If you're one of those withered souls who looks for opportunities to rain on everyone else's parade, get lost. We don't need you. Criticism should be constructive, plagiarism should be utterly foreign, and you should never poke someone just to see if they bleed.
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HI KAWAI BURNING ALL THE WAY FROM JAPAN!!!

A friend of mine has a cousin who has just came back from a trip to Japan! She was blessed with the most awesome, cutest taste for adorable japanese stuff and she is doing a great giveaway! Don't forget to check out her "sweet as candy" blog! http://www.kawaii-factory.es/
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Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Flames of Summer Wither and Die Away

http://vimeo.com/13667092
Goodbye summer!
And I totally love that dialogue!
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Burning Bacon...

Its 4.00 am and I just caught the craziest chat conversation in LetMeWatchThis, my favorite movies' site.
Apparently "idroppedmyspoon" (that's his/hers web name) started this yesterday and its still going!

It's impossible to put all the names of the people chatting or even to include all post but these are the best!

Start frying!!!

Rebel Without a Bacon
There's something about Bacon
Girls Gone Bacon
Jennifer's Bacon
No Bacon Attached
The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Bacon
Mr and Mrs Bacon
The Lost Bacon
Bacon and Stitch
Flight of the Bacon
Bacon Dearest
Mom and Dad Save the Bacon
Journey To The Centre Of The Bacon
I Know What Bacon Did Last Summer
Before The Devil Knows You're Bacon
Die Hard: With a Sausage
BACON WARS
Inubacon
NaruBacon
How To Make Friends And Influence Bacon
Bad Bacon
FaceBacon
Winnie The Bacon
Girls Just Wanna Have Bacon
Bacon Trek
Titanic Bacon
Black Snake Sausage
The Rise of the Bacon
The Truth About Bacon
Bacon The Documentary
Interview With A Bacon
You want the bacon? ...You can't handle the bacon!
Bacon Grease AND Bacon Grease 2
The Bacon Diaries AND The Diaries of Bacon Jones
...It's my way or the baconway...
Stop or the Bacon Shoots!
Pulp Bacon
Billy the Bacon
The Bacon in the Middle
Must....resist...bacon
Guns and Bacon
Monsters vs Bacon
League of Extraordinary Bacon
...go bacon yourself you bacon bacon...
BaconStone
Trading Bacon
The Bacon of the Dead Bacons
"Its Bacon, Captain, but not as we know it."
Dirty Bacon
there's a movie with john candy called "canadian bacon" for real...
Beastly Bacon
Green Day : St. bBacon
No Country for Old Bacon
Don't Tell Mom the Bacon's Dead
Baconquest
Bacon this....
The Princess Bacon
The Bacon Gates
... I spit on your bacon!
Fried Green Bacon
Honey I Shrunk The Bacon
Bacon Impossible
Is Harry on the Bacon?
Downtown Bacon
Who Framed The Bacon?
Bacon Everlasting
Letmebaconthis :)
Meet Joe Bacon
Night of the Living Bacon
Bacon The 13th
the phantom bacon
The Bacon of the Opera
Eggs
With Bacon
Balls of Bacon
Final Destinbacon
the bacon family values
Dude, where's my bacon?
Beavis and Bacon-Head Do America
Searching For Bobby Bacon
Jason vs Bacon
The Fast and the Bacon
The Importance of Being Bacon
Supper Bacon!
Harry potter and the Bacon Hallows
The Mask of Bacon
...because bacon's what' cookin'...
Over the bacon
Save the Last Bacon For Me
Say Something Bacon
Spy Bacon
Don't be a bacon to South Bacon while drinking your Bacon in the Bacon Pretty in Bacon
Coffee and Baconettes
Never Been Baconed
Raiders of the Lost Bacon
Who's Afraid of the Bacon?
I'm hungry
The Meaning of Bacon
Finding Bacon
Ingloriuos bacon
The Bacon Mile
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bacon
Live Free or Die bacon
Bacon Soldiers
Chainbacon massacre
Beyond the Valley of Bacon
The Woman in Bacon
The Bacontrix
Wake up if ya smmmmmmeeeeeeeellllllllllllll the bacon!
Oh No! Another Bacon Movie
Captain Bacon
Saving Private Bacon
Beauty and the Bacon
Bacon Falls
Mr Bacon
rise of the planet of the bacon
forrest bacon
Bacon Act
Bacon-nights
Clash of the Bacon
Conan the Bacon
A bacon flew over the cuckoos nest
Immortal Bacon
Forbidden Bacon
the hills have bacon
read the bacon, it tells you everything
Eyes Wide Bacon
7 days in Bacon
The Baconism
...you had me at bacon...
Number twenty bacon
silence of the bacons
Bacon of the Lambs
Borat: Cultural Learnings of Bacon for make benefit glorious Bacon of Kazakhstan
ice ice bacon
the BAcon Saga
cowboys and bacon
Fear and Bacon in Las Vegas
A Bacon Runs Through It
brokeback bacon
I now pronounce you Chuck and Bacon
IF YOU BACON THIS, YOU CAN BACON THAT
Bacon Returns
Bacon, James Bacon...
bacon me if you can
it's kind of a funny bacon
clockwork bacon
Bacon Attacks!
the rocky horror bacon show
playboy bacon
gossip bacon
a time to bacon
the bacon who could fly
The Saddest Bacon in the World
Big Bacon
A NIGHTMARE ON BACON ST.
the bacon video horror that made me puke on my aunt gertrude
Natural Born Bacon
anyone know of a good BACON?
the bacon kid
Bacon and Prejudice
The Bacon who shagged me
a Bacon too far
bridgette jones bacon
The Bacons Of Madison County
the bacon musketeers AND The Three Bacons
Dr. StrangeBacon: or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bacon
UltraBacon
Mr. Poppers Bacons
edward bacon hands
Million dollar bacon
teenage mutant hero bacons
X-bacon
Queen of the Bacon
3000 Miles to Baconland
Finding Bacon
A Fish Called Bacon
The Lord Of the Bacon: The Fellowship of the Bacon
True Bacon
American Bacon
The Bacon of Monte Cristo
The Bacon Network
Bacon, The Bacon Slayer
Mars Needs Bacon
the twin bacons

And much more bacon...
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