To Have Your Dreams Fall in Flames and Yet Rise Above The Ashes To Fly Stronger and Higher Than Before

My life is not hard, it never was. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m just one of many girls, post-university struggling to find paid employment and make ends meet. Actually, it is quite a lot like everyone else’s situations :) only I’ll, very soon, have to stop sponging off my parents or have delusions about being someone great that will “go down in history” or anything like that. I did study literature at university, I had dreams and I still do. I don’t expect to be a writer right away. Neither would I want to. But I always wanted to do something within the industry, and thought (perhaps naively?) that studying my passion would allow me to work with it in some way. Editing, Book PR, translations, freelance writing for newspapers and magazines, that kind of thing. People aren’t lying when they say the job market’s hard. I know other people think that graduates should stop moaning about being unemployed because LOTS of people are unemployed, but it really is an indescribably demoralising experience to come to the end of those 3/4 glorious years, in which you have worked hard, despite what some people think (ok, I could have worked harder). But I achieved good things, and was ready, am ready, to knuckle down and really make myself invaluable to an employer. Thankfully I’d worked part-time before, and my university is still not over, so I still have time to search and my mom will keep me from starving and living under a bridge, at least until graduation. At first I tought I ought to hold out for that big break, but as time passed I started looking for part-time work. Any part-time work. I guess I got desperate, the end of the semester is fast approaching and I just don’t wanna be a burden to my parents. People tell me I need to lower my standards, but I’ve applied for so many things: Jobs in hotels, airports and turism, cleaning jobs, dogsbody stuff, bar and restauration work, comertial, even those awful sales jobs where you stand on the street annoying people. Part-time work is my compromise: “Yes, I will go into the job market, I will work every single day in something that I do not love, will probably never enjoy and has absolutely nothing to do with the field I’ve studied all those years for. And not only will I be underpaid to do it, but also I’ll apparently have to practically beg for it.” But I’ll not do it full time. I’ll not accept that as the interity of my life. I’ll keep my dreams alive. I’ll not accept the status quo. It’s demeaning. Like adding insult to injury. I’m a person, I maybe a young person, and I’m not saying I’m entitled to more than anyone else, but I certainly should not have to settle for less than I deserve. I’m not asking for favors, and I’d really appreciate it, if people stopped treating me like I am. I’m just asking for an opportunity to prove that I can do this. Work. Prove myself. If I suck, for heavens sake- Fire me! But Gods, please give me an opportunity to screw up first, before automaticly assuming I will. The good news is, I’ve the right “fresh-out-from-university-looking-for-a-job” profile: I’m good looking, and friendly, active, easy-going, responsible, fast-thinking, hard working... I’m very hireable, even without much work experience. But I was born like that, there’s nothing to be proud of in that. I’m using all my skills because I have to, because starting in a few weeks, I’ll be all alone. By myself. And still waiting for my big opportunity, my dream job. I’ll keep signing up for it; I don’t know if they’ll be able to employ me, they say it’s the economy. Perhaps it is, but I think it’s the mentality, this loser mentality, this "I’ll even work for free if you just give me an internship with your company, because my mom and dad pay my bills, and I’ve to tell them I’m doing something with my life, or else". I refuse to do that, I refuse to accept a reality in which I busted my ass for others during 3/4 years, in which I studied and I (well, my parents did but you get the point) paid for a higher education, to do what? To work ridiculous hous, full weeks, with no guaranties, no security, no carrer opportunities or goals, for pratically no pay! Am I supposed to be okay with that? I’m sorry NO! I’ll say no, and I’ll NOT be sorry about that. Everytime people offer me an internship or an underpaid job, I’ll say no, and scream it if I have to. Scream it with all my power, with all my will... above that little voice in my head, that sounds suspiciously like my mom’s, and that says I must get a job. I will refuse to be a willing slave. I’ll say: “I’d rather starve”. For, it’s true that you cannot eat dignity, but you can die in your mind, in your heart and in your self-respect with plenty of food in your stomach. I’ll never willingly accept that as my fate, I deserve better, Gods I know I do. I don’t know if this is the way, but I’m positive that it’s a step in the right direction. I just wish everyone would do the same: Put their foot down for what they believe in! If we all said no, they’d not do it! The mentality would change, the productivity would rise (because people would actually want to do the jobs), and I’ll be dammed if the economy wouldn’t rise with it! I don’t really like to say that it’s my way or no way, but with my life, it kind of is. If nothing else, than to fail spectacularly will be a liberating experience. Students, graduates, friends... Unite! Fight for what you believe, and never, ever give up! Sara ♥