THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IN FANFICTION
*A bossy list by Fanfiction Author Raining Ink. Your mileage may differ.*
1. Accidentally write a Mary Sue.
Go now, and Google Mary Sue. Write one if you must. But please, realize that you're doing it; and give us a warning in the fic summary.
2. Infantilize a teenager or adult character.
Dear Hurt/Comfort author, if your sixteen-year-old protagonist is constantly whimpering, clutching a plush toy, looking at people with "vulnerable liquid eyes," sucking his thumb, or otherwise acting like a small child, you are probably tap dancing on your reader's gag reflex. This syndrome plagues Harry Potter fan fic, especially Severitus/Sevitus. It is not cute. It is supremely creepy.
3. Have an explicit sex scene in every chapter.
I know. It's a shocker, right? But a lot of us actually read fan fiction for the plot. I will wade through a whole lot of explicit scenes to get to the nuggets of plot (and almost every fic worth its salt has some plot even if the author didn't realize it), but I don't enjoy it. Please at least let me know in the summary if I'm going to have to skim massively to find the story amidst all of the insert Tab A into Slot B.
3.5 Have an explicit sex scene at ff.net.
That M rating? It's M, not NC-17. They are not equivalent. I feel pretty strongly about this, though I used to barely notice it and I've never bothered to report anyone. If you're going to write smut, write it somewhere else. There are a lot twelve and thirteen year olds digging through this site. I think we've got a responsibility to keep it clean, or at least clearly labeled.
4. Write without a Beta if you suck at English grammar.
Don't feel embarassed. A whole lot of people fail at grammar. Betas are cute and plentiful and so gosh darn helpful that it will make you feel all tingly inside when you get one. If you are really bad, get two Betas. It's good for you. It's good for your story. It's good for your readers. And I can promise that you'll get more reviews if your grammar and spelling are up to snuff.
5. Write a "Group of Characters read the Book in Which They are Featured" Fic.
DO NOT DO IT.
I'm sure I'm hurting some feelings with this, but there is a very good reason not to. I have never, ever, read one of these that wasn't a horendous work of plagiarism. Yes, it's fun and funny to see how Draco Malfoy responds to the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Super. BUT. You can't write this fic without copying massive amounts of the author's original work. I've seen entire chapters of novels retyped. The fact that the "writer" (aka typist) used quotation marks didn't change the fact that I could have read the original author's story without paying for it. This is plagiarism, not fanfiction. It is illegal, unethical, and stupid.
6. Use your story as a political or religious platform.
Put it on your profile page, not in your character's mouth. Harry Potter really doesn't care if you like Sarah Palin or not.
(Quite frankly, none of the rest of us do either.)
7. Write abuse scenes solely to garner sympathy for a lame character.
Abuse is a serious issue. Don't make a mockery of it. If you're going to deal with it, don't just insert it into your story to "juice things up" or to make everyone feel super sorry for your protagonist so that they will understand when he/she starts carrying around a teddy bear at age sixteen and sucking his/her thumb. (See number 2.)
8. Summarize canon.
Seriously? It's fan fiction. We're fans. We don't need you to give us every detail about how Harry Potter grew up with the Dursleys or how Percy Jackson is really a demigod. We got that memo. Write something new.
8.5 Write an AU in which nothing new happens.
Summary says: Harry is really the reincarnation of Merlin, sent to Earth to save it from alien invasion, and Voldemort is really the female leader of the invading force. Rock on. And then, for 100,000 plus words, the characters do the exact same things they did in canon. Voldemort may be pink tentacle monster, but it hasn't changed anything. Not even the dialogue. This baffles me.
9. Write entirely in dialogue.
I'm seeing more and more of this. I know it's easier, and it makes your chapters look longer on paper, but really? Dialogue is great when it's resting on top of good exposition. Otherwise you're trying to build a pyramid from the top down.
10. Be Evil.
This is for everyone and anyone out there who reads or writes fan fic. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be friendly. If you're one of those withered souls who looks for opportunities to rain on everyone else's parade, get lost. We don't need you. Criticism should be constructive, plagiarism should be utterly foreign, and you should never poke someone just to see if they bleed.
*A bossy list by Fanfiction Author Raining Ink. Your mileage may differ.*
1. Accidentally write a Mary Sue.
Go now, and Google Mary Sue. Write one if you must. But please, realize that you're doing it; and give us a warning in the fic summary.
2. Infantilize a teenager or adult character.
Dear Hurt/Comfort author, if your sixteen-year-old protagonist is constantly whimpering, clutching a plush toy, looking at people with "vulnerable liquid eyes," sucking his thumb, or otherwise acting like a small child, you are probably tap dancing on your reader's gag reflex. This syndrome plagues Harry Potter fan fic, especially Severitus/Sevitus. It is not cute. It is supremely creepy.
3. Have an explicit sex scene in every chapter.
I know. It's a shocker, right? But a lot of us actually read fan fiction for the plot. I will wade through a whole lot of explicit scenes to get to the nuggets of plot (and almost every fic worth its salt has some plot even if the author didn't realize it), but I don't enjoy it. Please at least let me know in the summary if I'm going to have to skim massively to find the story amidst all of the insert Tab A into Slot B.
3.5 Have an explicit sex scene at ff.net.
That M rating? It's M, not NC-17. They are not equivalent. I feel pretty strongly about this, though I used to barely notice it and I've never bothered to report anyone. If you're going to write smut, write it somewhere else. There are a lot twelve and thirteen year olds digging through this site. I think we've got a responsibility to keep it clean, or at least clearly labeled.
4. Write without a Beta if you suck at English grammar.
Don't feel embarassed. A whole lot of people fail at grammar. Betas are cute and plentiful and so gosh darn helpful that it will make you feel all tingly inside when you get one. If you are really bad, get two Betas. It's good for you. It's good for your story. It's good for your readers. And I can promise that you'll get more reviews if your grammar and spelling are up to snuff.
5. Write a "Group of Characters read the Book in Which They are Featured" Fic.
DO NOT DO IT.
I'm sure I'm hurting some feelings with this, but there is a very good reason not to. I have never, ever, read one of these that wasn't a horendous work of plagiarism. Yes, it's fun and funny to see how Draco Malfoy responds to the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Super. BUT. You can't write this fic without copying massive amounts of the author's original work. I've seen entire chapters of novels retyped. The fact that the "writer" (aka typist) used quotation marks didn't change the fact that I could have read the original author's story without paying for it. This is plagiarism, not fanfiction. It is illegal, unethical, and stupid.
6. Use your story as a political or religious platform.
Put it on your profile page, not in your character's mouth. Harry Potter really doesn't care if you like Sarah Palin or not.
(Quite frankly, none of the rest of us do either.)
7. Write abuse scenes solely to garner sympathy for a lame character.
Abuse is a serious issue. Don't make a mockery of it. If you're going to deal with it, don't just insert it into your story to "juice things up" or to make everyone feel super sorry for your protagonist so that they will understand when he/she starts carrying around a teddy bear at age sixteen and sucking his/her thumb. (See number 2.)
8. Summarize canon.
Seriously? It's fan fiction. We're fans. We don't need you to give us every detail about how Harry Potter grew up with the Dursleys or how Percy Jackson is really a demigod. We got that memo. Write something new.
8.5 Write an AU in which nothing new happens.
Summary says: Harry is really the reincarnation of Merlin, sent to Earth to save it from alien invasion, and Voldemort is really the female leader of the invading force. Rock on. And then, for 100,000 plus words, the characters do the exact same things they did in canon. Voldemort may be pink tentacle monster, but it hasn't changed anything. Not even the dialogue. This baffles me.
9. Write entirely in dialogue.
I'm seeing more and more of this. I know it's easier, and it makes your chapters look longer on paper, but really? Dialogue is great when it's resting on top of good exposition. Otherwise you're trying to build a pyramid from the top down.
10. Be Evil.
This is for everyone and anyone out there who reads or writes fan fic. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be friendly. If you're one of those withered souls who looks for opportunities to rain on everyone else's parade, get lost. We don't need you. Criticism should be constructive, plagiarism should be utterly foreign, and you should never poke someone just to see if they bleed.
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